Thursday, May 24, 2012

Introducing Leia Madeleine

It was a beautiful Sunday. I was bored at home and feeling blue, as I was accustomed to feeling toward the end of my pregnancy. The stress of being pregnant, tired, overworked, and losing patience was getting to be too much. I called my parents and they came and picked me up to hang out with them. I hadn’t slept for 2 days. I’m not exaggerating, sleeping was near impossible at this stage of pregnancy. If it wasn’t the acid reflux waking me up, it was just being uncomfortable. Sleeping during this entire pregnancy was near impossible and I was always sore and exhausted. Well, although I had slept, I pushed myself along to go food shopping and accompany my parents to Pier 1 and a gardening center/nursery. I then asked to go to Babies-R-Us to get into a baby mood. As I said, I was feeling blue and exhausted.

My parents fed their huge pregnant daughter and drove me home. I finally had a chance to lay down and sleep. Jeremy was home and tired too (when Maraley doesn’t sleep, Jeremy didn’t get a chance to sleep well either).

“I’m gonna’ lay down and watch some Netflix” I said to Jeremy.

I lay down on the bed and get good and tucked under the covers. Finally I’m tired enough to sleep in any position. And then…

“Jeremy…Jeremy….Can you help me up out of bed….I uh…think my water just broke” it was 9:15pm on May 6th.

It wasn’t the gush that you see on TV and in movies. Just a small trickle every few minutes. I was very calm about it all. I called my sister, who was the ride to the hospital. She started freaking out. I told her to take her time because I wanted to shower and get ready. Yes, I wanted to get dressed, complete with make up and hair done, before I went to hospital.

Jeremy took a nap.

My sister arrived and we left shortly after 12am. It hit me. I was going to have my baby in my arms very soon. Finally, after 9 months of waiting, she was going to be here. Jeremy was exhausted and seemed very out of it.

Well, hours passed with no progression to my labor. I didn’t sleep all night and morning soon came. I came in the hospital dilated at 3cm….and at 12pm I was only at 5cm. The Pitocin was just not working, and my baby was not dropping. Finally, we all came to the decision that she had to come out with a Caesarian Section. She was in a ROP position and could not descend the birth canal. She was stuck. Baby and I were very tired. Doctors were throwing around the idea that she was significantly large. My ultrasound a week prior estimated her size to be 8 lbs, but I didn’t think she was any bigger than that since I gained only 35 lbs my whole pregnancy and my belly wasn’t all that big. Ultrasounds have the notoriety of being off by a pound or more.

They prepped Jeremy and I up for the procedure. I was trying to stay as calm as possible. The doctors were remarking how I was going to be an excellent mom if I could keep so calm and have a steady heartbeat. I was scared shitless.

“You won’t feel any pain, it will register as pressure,” Mr. Very Nice Anesthesiologist said.

Well, pressure is fucking pain, let me tell you! With some snips, incisions and careful yanking, I hear Dr. Cha, my amazing OBGYN say, “OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT HEAD” and I shoot an angry look at my dear large headed Jeremy.

“Oh my god look at that gorgeous face. She’s so beautiful…oh my god, she’s soo big. Holy shit this is the biggest baby I think I ever delivered.” I thought it was all exaggeration.

With a final yank, and lots of friggin pressure, I hear her cry. Her beautiful soft cry. I see the nurses rush her over to get cleaned and Jeremy’s first words about her are “She has hair!”. We both thought she would be bald since we were bald babies ourselves. The second thing he says, “She has my eyebrows!”.

At the weigh in I hear them say, “10lbs, 4 oz”

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” yes, that is what I said. How she got so big without me eating a ton, having gestational diabetes or some other health problem, I still do not know. As my doctor said, “Some women have big babies”. Lucky me.

Jeremy was trying to get looks at her, but I had his hand in a death grip since I was being sliced up and sewn up and in pain. Finally, I look at him, let him go and say, “Go to her”.

Jeremy fell in love. Seeing him hold his daughter for the first time was probably the most beautiful moment of my life. More so than when I first got to hold her.

Everything else was a blur. When I first held her, saw her, fed her. It wasn’t till the next day that I really got my first good looks at her.

She still needed a name though. Jeremy and I decided to wait to give her a name. So she could help us choose it. We had a list of names we both liked. Audrey, Madeline, Celeste, Charlotte. Nothing fit her.

If you know Jeremy, you know that he is obsessed with Star Wars. It is kinda creepy and ultra nerdy. So before we even knew the sex of that baby I wanted to beat him to the punch. I said, “If it is a girl, her middle name can be Leia,” I figured giving him that small victory would save me hours of saying no to all these other crazy Star Wars OR Lord of the Rings names (his second obsession).

Well, one night while trying to sleep in the hospital it just hit me. Leia Madeleine. I looked over at her. She just looked like a Leia. All the other names were too dainty and polished, but when I looked at my daughter, I just saw this strong, tough little girl with such a big attitude. She just seemed like a Leia. When I suggested it to Jeremy the next morning, his stupid face lit up with excitement. He won. That son-of-a-bitch won.

We named her Leia Madeleine (Lay-Uh Mad-Uh-Line).

Here she is at the hospital, still swollen -



Here she is at home!

She is basically a brown version of her dad. I don’t know what I gave her. She has my eyes, nose, and lips but the overall structure of her dad.

He’s making the face she normally always does. They have the same haircut though!


Here is a rarity now-a-days. A picture of a very swollen and sore me. Look at those legs! Ugh, I’m so glad my body is back to normal now. But yeah, that’s me and Leia. I really hate taking pictures. This one was snuck passed me by my sister. I have to get better at taking them.

But yeah, that’s my chubby little baby girl! We love her soo much!

A Room For The Princess

So throughout the month of April in between all the napping, walking, shopping, napping, and waiting, I worked on putting together my baby girl’s room. It was an vacant dark green den with dim lighting and poor sunlight. With the help of my dad and Jeremy, we transformed the room into something a little more hospitable for a cute little princess.

So here are some pics! It still is a work in progress but we are slowly getting it together.



The dresser/changing table was a craigslist find. The original color was the same as the crib. It was obviously used looking, complete with nail polish remover burns and paint marks. But it was cheap and I knew it had potential. We used the left over wall paint for the drawers and a yellow/butter color for the rest of the dresser, turning this cheap little find into an adorable nursery addition. The crib is a hand-me-down from her cousins Juan and Javier, my brother’s boys. I didn’t want to change the color up due to the fact that it has a family history. The hanging lamp is her night light, used mostly for ambiance than for actual illumination. The hamper is a simple one from Babies-r-us by Koala Bear. The wall needs some art and the floor needs a rug. We’re working on it!


This is her little supply and toy center! I bought this cute little shelving unit at Target as well as the little storage boxes. They also have similar ones at Toys R us. Right now the shelves have some stuffed animals and books and the boxes hold her diapers and wipes and other baby needs but as she gets older it will probably just hold the bulk of her books and toys. The top of the unit has 2 mason jars for q-tips and cotton balls that I decorated and some photo brag books and an empty frame. There is also a metal plate that holds her pacifiers and a jewelry stand that just has some headbands for the time being. I love this little area because it holds all her stuff. My girl!

The Mason Jars I decorated. The q-tip jar was decorated with left over paint for the walls and dresser and the bottom cotton ball jar was decopaged with muslin and tissue paper that Jeremy really liked from a gift we received at the totally awesome co-ed baby celebration. The bottom jar needs a touch up of some sorts but I was rushed to the hospital to have a baby before I could finish it. Ya’ know, shit happens!

Her little wall art and decorative shelving. I used decorated mason jars as night lights here. All night lights are illuminated by LED tea light candles. Again, used mostly for aesthetic and not for actual light. They make the room pretty!

Ignore the random white kids in the frames. Still don’t have pictures of my love muffin. I may actually put other pics in them (Like Audrey Hepburn or Carrie Fisher Winking smile ). These jars I decorated using some ribbon I bought from Michaels and pieces of old jewelry I have worn and collected over the years as the embellishments. The stones inside are pink beach glass and the candles are LED ones. The shelves are made of metal and yellow decorative glass that I bought from Urban Outfitters. When light hits the shelves they leave yellow shadows on the wall. If you couldn’t tell, her nursery theme is yellow, purple, green and pink!

Well so far that is her room. I will be adding things to it as the days go on. It’s important she has something she can grow into the next few years. I don’t plan on renting forever, but Jeremy and I love our neighborhood and our apartment. Not sure about the schools around here yet, but we have some time for that still!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

To My Co-Workers


I was thinking about the best way to thank everyone without sending out a ba-jillion cards to the store. so I’ll just post it here on the blog. Oh technology! Ok, Imma’ let the baby take over. She’s highly advanced for her age. . .


Hey guys, how’s it hanging. Sorry it took me so long to come out! I was completely draining my mom of all food and energy so sorry this took so long to do.

Here we go:

To Cat, Lorraine, Krystle, Sandra, Kashe’ – Thank you for the awesome high chair. I’m still just feeding from bottles, but I can’t wait to throw my bowl onto the floor and create a big mess for my mom while sitting on this thing! Thanks!

To LiL Lo – Thanks for the Diaper Bag and the Ducky book. That bag carries all my stuff around and good thing too! I like to eat a lot which means I use the bathroom a lot. Lot’s of diapers and wipes. Mama reads me the book every night before bedtime. It’s riveting, I especially get all emotional when the duckies fly off the shipping boat. PS, please call social services, my mom threatens to punch me cause I’m so cute. . .

To Danay, Skye, Denisse, Manny, Hanif, Leeza, Sheila, and GiGi – Thanks so much for the pump. Mama had difficulty during delivery with me and I got a lil sick after birth so we needed to use this pump to get me my nutrition that I needed. Thank you soo much! It would’ve been super awkward to have Manny there doing it. ..

Sandra – I love my towel! I look so cute in it. I can’t wait to have my first bath so mama can actually put it to use instead of undressing me for no purpose and putting me in it just to see how cute I look. She’s weird.

Antonia – The Vans are to die for and those lil socks. Daddy wears Vans so when we opened this gift he was super excited to see that this is what you bought me. I can’t wait till they fit me!

Nicole – Girl, I love that dress! I wore it on mother’s day and I looked so darn cute! It was a hit! Thank you soo much for it.

Tiny – The clothes are amazing! I can’t wait to fit in some of those outfits. Mama is probably more excited to see me in it than I am. Since I’m a big girl I’ll probably be wearing them sooner than everyone thought! Thank you soo much!

Thanks again guys for all the gifts and all the well wishes! You guys rock!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Why my baby isn’t here yet…

I’m going to admit, it gets rather annoying when well wishers become harassers with the constant question, “Where is that baby?'”

I’ll tell you where she is, she is in my uterus. Estimated due dates are exactly that, estimations. I am only one week past my EDD and that is for good reason: I am choosing to spend my pre-labor/prodromal labor at home.

Yes, I have been in labor. But it is a slow transitional labor. Had I rushed to the hospital with my first pre-labor twinges I most likely would have been medically induced and given Pitocin since I was contracting and dilating. Pitocin only works 100% if your cervix is soft and completely effaced, otherwise complications arise (stops working, dilation stops and 3 or 4 centimeters, baby’s heart rate drops). Than that’s when the whole C-section conversations starts. I do not want that. I want my pregnancy to occur naturally up until the point where she is in danger of losing her nutrient reservoir, aka her placenta. The choice to not have her yet is mine, not hers. I’m not going to rip her out of my uterus because I have a few labor pains. I’m waiting for that gut wrenching moment where I am 5-6 centimeters dilated, screaming in pain and being rushed to the hospital so nature can take its course. With active labor, you have a good 3-5 hours before the baby is born. I’m not worried about having her at home or in a car.

Some studies show that most women have their babies well past their due date. In fact, almost the same percentage of women that have their baby in their 39th week have theirs in the 41st. If it is your first time around, you are most likely to carry later. On top of all that, only 5% of women have their babies on their due dates. That number drops if you add the word VAGINALLY to that.

( )

What is normal for me may not be normal to you or her or her. It is just a matter of preference. I am willing to wait through all the annoying cramps, pains, bumps, lack of sleep etc. I just know if I go to the hospital they will induce me, and I do not want that unless it is absolutely necessary. As I have said before, I do not know when the sperm met the egg. I’m going by the date of my last period, not of conception.

So with that said, here is how I am doing; I am 3 1/2 cm dilated, cervix is soft and ready to go. I am off and on laboring at home and yes it is uncomfortable but not bad. Usually I watch movies, eat, walk around, sleep, or do housework. I have lost my mucus plug and have had a bloody show. Baby is in position but still refuses to turn to a complete anterior position so pressure is not enough on my cervix. I am waiting for that. Most likely she will turn a few hours before crowning. I am hoping.

I know everyone is just excited about meeting my little one and just cares about me and her. But it can be a little insulting and hurtful at times when people don’t understand why your baby isn’t there when they are “supposed” to be there. I just want to explain my reasons. I’m not a hippy so I don’t want a home birth, but I definitely do not want a 100% medically monitored/intervened pregnancy. I don’t want to be strapped up to machines for 14 hours, and I want to see how long I can go before I start screaming for the epidural. Remember, I had some gnarly IBS and those pains last for HOURS without the kindness of contractions that give you a few minutes to recover. Those pains I don’t wish on my worse enemy. I’ve heard other IBS sufferers who have had babies say the pain is exactly the same or worse than labor. So I kinda have a slight idea of the pain I am in for. A slight.

I’m sorry if this at all seemed rude, I just find it easier to explain my reasons through written word and I just didn’t want to give minute to minute updates via facebook or phone calls because I knew that would mean more people just calling me, asking about it, and concerned. Which I don’t want everyone worried or overly excited if it just means I am still in the waiting period.

So wait it out for me and give me the support I need in my choice to do this the most natural way I can. Or drive me to the hospital today so I can be induced. I’m dilated enough, but is my baby 100% ready? Can we be sure?