Thursday, May 3, 2012

Why my baby isn’t here yet…

I’m going to admit, it gets rather annoying when well wishers become harassers with the constant question, “Where is that baby?'”

I’ll tell you where she is, she is in my uterus. Estimated due dates are exactly that, estimations. I am only one week past my EDD and that is for good reason: I am choosing to spend my pre-labor/prodromal labor at home.

Yes, I have been in labor. But it is a slow transitional labor. Had I rushed to the hospital with my first pre-labor twinges I most likely would have been medically induced and given Pitocin since I was contracting and dilating. Pitocin only works 100% if your cervix is soft and completely effaced, otherwise complications arise (stops working, dilation stops and 3 or 4 centimeters, baby’s heart rate drops). Than that’s when the whole C-section conversations starts. I do not want that. I want my pregnancy to occur naturally up until the point where she is in danger of losing her nutrient reservoir, aka her placenta. The choice to not have her yet is mine, not hers. I’m not going to rip her out of my uterus because I have a few labor pains. I’m waiting for that gut wrenching moment where I am 5-6 centimeters dilated, screaming in pain and being rushed to the hospital so nature can take its course. With active labor, you have a good 3-5 hours before the baby is born. I’m not worried about having her at home or in a car.

Some studies show that most women have their babies well past their due date. In fact, almost the same percentage of women that have their baby in their 39th week have theirs in the 41st. If it is your first time around, you are most likely to carry later. On top of all that, only 5% of women have their babies on their due dates. That number drops if you add the word VAGINALLY to that.

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What is normal for me may not be normal to you or her or her. It is just a matter of preference. I am willing to wait through all the annoying cramps, pains, bumps, lack of sleep etc. I just know if I go to the hospital they will induce me, and I do not want that unless it is absolutely necessary. As I have said before, I do not know when the sperm met the egg. I’m going by the date of my last period, not of conception.

So with that said, here is how I am doing; I am 3 1/2 cm dilated, cervix is soft and ready to go. I am off and on laboring at home and yes it is uncomfortable but not bad. Usually I watch movies, eat, walk around, sleep, or do housework. I have lost my mucus plug and have had a bloody show. Baby is in position but still refuses to turn to a complete anterior position so pressure is not enough on my cervix. I am waiting for that. Most likely she will turn a few hours before crowning. I am hoping.

I know everyone is just excited about meeting my little one and just cares about me and her. But it can be a little insulting and hurtful at times when people don’t understand why your baby isn’t there when they are “supposed” to be there. I just want to explain my reasons. I’m not a hippy so I don’t want a home birth, but I definitely do not want a 100% medically monitored/intervened pregnancy. I don’t want to be strapped up to machines for 14 hours, and I want to see how long I can go before I start screaming for the epidural. Remember, I had some gnarly IBS and those pains last for HOURS without the kindness of contractions that give you a few minutes to recover. Those pains I don’t wish on my worse enemy. I’ve heard other IBS sufferers who have had babies say the pain is exactly the same or worse than labor. So I kinda have a slight idea of the pain I am in for. A slight.

I’m sorry if this at all seemed rude, I just find it easier to explain my reasons through written word and I just didn’t want to give minute to minute updates via facebook or phone calls because I knew that would mean more people just calling me, asking about it, and concerned. Which I don’t want everyone worried or overly excited if it just means I am still in the waiting period.

So wait it out for me and give me the support I need in my choice to do this the most natural way I can. Or drive me to the hospital today so I can be induced. I’m dilated enough, but is my baby 100% ready? Can we be sure?

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